If one child will receive more than his siblings, even though his need is obviously greater, will that shared info create fighting between the children? And should children even have advance knowledge that they are going to receive an inheritance? These are some of the questions examined in the article “Disclosing estate plans in advance can save strife later” from The Indiana Lawyer. In most situations, advance discussions between family members are better to ensure family harmony.

Many estate planning attorneys have the “fair does not always mean equal” discussion with their clients. For some families, there is one child who is in dire need, while the others have prospered and don’t really need help. Maybe one child has special needs, or just hasn’t been as successful in life. In other cases, one child has already received substantial property from the parents, so no portion of the estate will be left to them. Regardless of the circumstances, which vary widely, having a frank discussion with all of the children is better than a series of surprises.

Research from the Federal Reserve Board shows that more than half of any given inheritance equals $50,000 or less, and more than 80% of all inheritances are less than $250,000.

With only half of what most people inherit being generally used to invest or pay down debt, most of these inheritances are spent, invested, or donated.

Regardless of the size of the inheritance, most parents expect that the beneficiaries of their estate will protect and preserve their legacy and use the money wisely. That is not always the case. If the parents want heirs to be careful with inheritances, they need to have a plan that will prepare heirs to act as stewards of their inheritances. The plan may be as simple as a series of conversations about saving and investing, or making charitable donations. It might also be complex, like meeting with the parent’s financial advisor and estate planning attorney and discussing wealth transfer and the potential to grow the wealth for another generation.

Families with larger estates often involve their children in annual gifting to get them used to the experience of receiving significant assets and learning how to manage these gifts. This has the added impact of allowing the parents to see how their children will respond to windfalls, which may guide how they distribute wealth in their estate plan. If one child is a repeat spendthrift, for instance, a trust may be a better way to pass the wealth to the child, with a trustee who can determine when they receive assets.

Families who have worked hard to leave their children with an inheritance, regardless of the size, should prepare their children by teaching them, through the parent’s actions, how their values impact their wealth, and how to manage it for themselves and future generations.

Reference: The Indiana Lawyer (October 16, 2019) “Disclosing estate plans in advance can save strife later”